I can see through my tired eyes, my sickness controls me….

I hope you buuuuurn ;)

My conscience is clear; I just want you to suffer. You don’t fuck with me. 

keatonelson asked: Dude, i just wanted to say that i totally empathize with you as far as feeling trapped inside your thoughts and feeling alone with them, though i think everyone does to a certain extent. That's why i make music, though; otherwise i would go insane. I hope you find some sort of outlet to help you through. Happy New Years:)

Thanks happy new year :)

waytoohappy asked: Alexis you may find me the most creepy guy you know, but you are fucking gorgeous!!

THANKS MALCOM

Fuck my phone’s nifty aurocorrect. I’ll fix it later. Right after I invent my telepathic phone.

I’m even irritated at myself for thinking so much. It’s almost as if some weird movie is constantly playing, no commercials, and no pauses. I can’t even control what I think about, its almost like I’m trying to keep up with whatever my imagination is throwing around. I hate to be the one to wake you up constantly, asking for your attention, and I know I do this to myself, but I’m forced to look for some outlet. Writing OS good, and at some points I don’t even know exactly what I’m saying, but just having somewhere for it to go, other than to the other side of my brain, is a more comforting feeling than being completely trapped in my body. I would be irritated if I was tour. But maybe, just maybe you’ll understand and not have any grudges.to hold against me for it. I like to think is do the same for you. The universe only knows how much I was there for bradly when he was in a similar situation to mine. Completely different, but reliable somehow. Fuck i wish I had a ciggarette. And fuck I wish someone who was awake at 745 in the morning to keep me company. Oh well, oh well. It’s taking everything in me not to wake you up from your new years recovery slumber. If I didn’t treasure sleep so much I would have made you get up hours ago, but I have a slim tiny faint portion of respect left. Courtesy, I suppose. Either way its dippin out fast. And I have a feeling ill be finding out very soon how you react to being asked to get out of bed before the early birds get up. I usually don’t like it. Maybe you’re different. I’m not sure. My poor little fingers can’t even keep up with my head anymore. Some days I will invent something that transforms tour thoughts into something concrete. Like the bowl of thoughts from harry potter. The fifth or sixth book i think. Don’t judge. If magic was real there would be a whole lot less to be worried about. Ha. Done now. For reals. Happy new year. This one feels like a good one

I hate the way time warps and tricks you in this state. I can sit and look at a spot on the wall, and study every detail of it for a minute or two, and then look at the clock, and an hour and a half of time has vanished with me having no concept of it. Poof. Bye. No backsies. No rewind. Your bad. Maybe its better that Way. Hmm.

“I wish you were 21 already.”

Yeah, fuck you, just because I’m not “legal” age to go sit at some nasty bar with you and interact with all these swingers that live at the club doesn’t mean I’m not a person who also has a life and can go do other things. Hell, if you wanted to get drunk with me so bad then buy a bottle. A big one too, because I sure as hell can hold my liquor better than you AND the sluts you wish I was. 

In fact, I’d RATHER do that then have to get all done up just so I can sit and be hit on by everyone else that I don’t want to talk to. I want to drink with you, not the entire dramatic drunk community. And I don’t even want to drink with you. 

Furthermore, I’d rather be in my pajamas, at home, smoking and drinking at my own pleasure. 

Even when I DO eventually turn 21, don’t count on me ever coming out to support your stupid ass drinking games. Ever. 

Fuck you. Good day.